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The Art of Trolling
In this article, you will learn about trolling, how to do it and how to do it well. WARNING This article may contain offensive material. We would also like to say that we neither encourage nor do we promote trolling. We just study the art riskfree and legally. After stating the above, we cannot be held responsible for anything you choose to do with the information in this article. What is Trolling? Trolling is a form of multiple ways to annoy the heck out of someone. For example, if someone hands you their sandwich for just a second while they go to get a drink, you'd take a huge bite out of the sandwich before they came back, knowing that it would annoy them. When that person comes back and notices that you took a bite of the sandwich, they'd be upset with you. XD Trolling Techniques Believe it or not, but there are multiple types of trolling; multiple techniques for trolling people. 'Technique: The ''Constant Bitch The Constant Bitch is a very annoying type of trolling - well, annoying to the victim, that is. To perform this trolling technique, something negative needs to occur, like someone swearing at you. All you need to do is continuously complain about what they said, how it wasn't very nice, etc. The following example was done by Morpheus3000 in school at Math class: Step 1: When the bell rings for class, go to class, but walk into the door itself, saying "ow" afterwards, even if it doesn't hurt (make sure your classmates are around to watch). XD Step 2: When some random bitch/bastard calls you an idiot, a dickhead, etc., start bitching to that person about how it wasn't nice of him/her to say those "mean things" to you. Keep bitching until the bell rings. XD '' ''Step 3: When the bell rings, act like it never happened and act confused and shocked when people ask you about it. XD '''Technique: The ''Detective The ''Detective is one of the most annoying types of trolling the victim could ever experience. To perform this trolling technique, just follow someone around for nice, long while, without making any sort of physical contact. Don't listen to any threats they give you; just keep following them around. When the person you're trolling starts telling you to stop, or even swears at you, tell them "I'm not doing anything" and then perform the Constant Bitch ''technique whilst still performing the ''Detective ''technique if they actually choose to swear at you. XD 'Technique: The Creep The Creep ''is very similar to the ''Detective, but the Creep involves physical contact and sexually provocative commentary. There's not much more to it than that. :) A shout-out to The Lonely Island for making a song called The Creep. XD '''Technique: The ''Fear Factor The ''Fear Factor is one of the funniest types of trolling a troll could ever perform... it's even funnier if the victim pisses all over themself out of fear. To perform this trolling technique, you need to scare the hell out of the victim(s). The below picture is an example of such, however, the second "example" in this photo is called the Imposter. We'll have information about that technique soon. :) 'Technique: The ''Reason The Reason is a hilarious trolling technique... at first it won't annoy the victim, but after a while, they'll get annoyed with you. Keep it up and they'll get furious. XD To perform the Reason, just ask "Why", "what for", "how come", "but why", etc. Basically, you have to keep looking for a reason as to why the victim said what they said. It usually involves patience on your end because at first, the victim will only be amused. But then their patience will wear off and they'll start getting angry. XD A shout-out to Destructor526 and Ss14hero from Freenode IRC for being the inspiration to this sub-section. '''Technique: The ''Politician The ''Politician ''is an extremely complicated form of trolling. Many have tried to master it; few have achieved the mastery of this technique. The reason this technique is so difficult is because most people who try to perform this technique make mistakes. Only a few people, such as Morpheus3000, have mastered the ''Politician. :) To perform the Politician, you must troll someone in a way that does not breach policies, laws, guidelines, etc. If you stick to the rules, you'll be successful with this technique. You might even manage to use the rules as a form of weaponry when performing the Politician. ''XD 'Technique: The Reverse Gear The Reverse Gear is a basic form of trolling. You pretty much need to say the exact opposite of what another person says. For example, if someone says "yes", you have to say "no" and vice versa. Also, if someone said "I'm not gay, man", you say "You '''are a gay man". XD The Reverse Gear is all about patience; you might amuse the victim at first, but eventually it'll drive him/her crazy. XD A shout-out to Dakudoreamu from Freenode IRC for being the inspiration to this sub-section. 'Technique: The ''Imposter The Imposter is pretty risky technique for trolling. It involves pretending to be someone else, whilst making it look like you're being truthful. An example has been provided to you below. #A 12th Grader in a high school comes to school and pretends to be a substitute teacher for an uncovered class (also known as a free period Period. XD). #The 12th Grader has to try his best to both appear and sound truthful when he says that he's the substitute teacher. #If the students are successfully convinced that the 12th Grader is a teacher, the 12th Grader will take it to the next level; he/she will start teaching the class whichever subject they're learning. #At the end of the lesson, when the school bell rings, the 12th Grader will either confess the truth to all the students, or be artistic and let them believe that their class was covered. XD '''Technique: The ''Reporter Do not get confused by the name; it has nohing to do with reporters or paparazzi. It's about reporting "offensive material" to the admins of whichever site and/or network you find this "offensive material". An example has been provided to you below. #Go onto a popular site where comments and images can be shared. For example, Facebook, Twitter, etc. #Find a post that is clearly a violation against the site's policy and terms of use. #If you find it funny, laugh at it for a little. If you couldn't care less about the post, skip this step. #Report the post as whatever violation it's causing. For example, spam, nudity, racism, etc. #Wait for the post to be removed and feel free to laugh when it happens. #Repeat steps 1 to 5 until there are no more posts to troll-report. #When bored with one site, try another just for the hell of it. :) 'Technique: The Lawyer The Lawyer is an extremely complicated form of trolling. Many have tried to master it; few have achieved the mastery of this technique. The reason this technique is so difficult is because most people who try to perform this technique make mistakes. The Lawyer is very similar to the Politician; it involves using the rules and laws to your advantage, but it's about breaking rules that aren't backed up by legislation. To perform the Lawyer, you must troll someone in a way that, while breaking the rules or guidelines of a community, you don't perform any illegal activity. If you stick to the legislation of your country and the legislation the United Nations, you'll be successful with this technique. You might even manage to use the rules as a form of '''weaponry when performing the Lawyer. XD NOTE: DO NOT BREAK THE LAW OR YOU WILL FAIL IN THE PERFORMANCE OF THIS TECHNIQUE. THIS TECHNIQUE IS ABOUT BREAKING RULES IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE ILLEGAL ACTIVITY. 'Technique: The ''Priest' The ''Priest is a moderately complicated form of trolling. It's best done by Atheists who mock religion. The point of this technique is to use whatever knowledge you have of the Bible to manipulate Christians into doing what you want. This can also work for other religions; you'd just need to possess knowledge of their religion instead/as well. Category:Humour Category:Morphopedia